Season 1, Episode 5
The teenage daughters of the U.S. Ambassador to the Philippines are kidnapped and one is found dead off the coast of Waikiki. Governor Jameson brings the Five-0 in to find the other daughter alive.
Danny: You almost appear to be happy.
Steve: You don't think I'm a happy person?
Danny: You know, I'm not sure. You have your moments, you know. Like when Guns & Ammo puts out their holiday gift guide, or a Rambo retrospective comes on TV, but when the governor calls us down to the M.E.'s office on a Saturday, I ask you, what is it you could be so happy about?
Mary: Big night last night?
Mary: Old house. Thin walls.
Kath: Oh, God.
Mary: Yeah. You said that a lot.
Danny: Do you have a black light?
Dr. Bergman: Oh. It's called an ALS wand and I don't like people touching my equipment.
Danny: Can I just have the wand please?
Dr. Bergman: Fine.
Danny: That's impressive. Did you learn that at SEAL school?
Steve: Yeah, it's called using the internet. People have been doing it since the 90's.
Danny: I wouldn't know. I was still playing Mrs. Pac Man.
Steve: Oh. Ever make it to double pretzel level?
Danny: Triple banana, bitch.
Steve: You're a liar.
Danny: No, I'm not.
Danny: Two very attractive ladies are eye humping you, respectfully, and what? Nothing? What? Should I check for a pulse? You alive? Hello.
Danny: Oh, God. Thank you for the excuse.
Danny: You know, it's annoying. Now she catches bad guys for you. She sleeps with you. Does she also cook too?
Steve: Yes, she does. She's a very good cook.